beauty-school drop out …

Ok, I wasn’t registered in beauty school.

But I did drop out today. What a horrible feeling. Doesn’t “drop out” seem like a bad thing? I seriously sat in front of my computer looking at the words “Drop class, 100% refund, no credit” beside each of my courses until my session timed out and I had to sign in again. Then I just cut to the chase and did it. I dropped out. I’m officially a drop out. Maybe I’m obsessing … but it kind of feels like failure. I don’t really “fail” at things. I REALISE Somebody is trying to teach me something. But that doesn’t really ease my uneasiness …

Sorry for complaining via my blog. Those of you who know me in person probably hear me complain way too much. But this is a big thing I am dealing with…even though it may seem silly to some.

 I researched some night classes for next semester so I am thinking I will take the fall off (again) and register for the winter semester, just one night class a week at the community college. It’s something.

On a happier note: I came home last night to find that my husband had started putting together my NEW DESK! I found some pretty stellar stuff for my office at IKEA and Superstore (of all places! I know!). It’s coming together nicely, I can’t WAIT for you to see the finished product!! I can’t wait to see it! Haha. I see it all in my mind, but to have it physically come together, that will be so fun! I’ve never spent this much time on one project before. Have I shown you the desk that I finally decided on? I can’t remember. But here it is. Plain and simple. (I could only find the style I had originally wanted in ROBIN”S EGG BLUE. Yeeeah … not so much with my pink theme.)

I’m also ordering fabric for the curtains soon. So fun!

A Crazy Thing Has Happened.

I had a plan.

I am good at having plans. Usually my plans work out super well and I succeed at a lot of things I do.

I like this about myself.

However. My plan for the fall disintegrated as of about an hour ago.

I am no longer going to go to school like I planned. I have accepted an offer to continue full time in my job with a brand new pay raise (yipee!) and a new position that I will gradually grow into as the company grows.

It scares me, not knowing what lies ahead.

I may take some night classes or a correspondance course. But my work load will no longer qualify as “full-time”. My goal of a business degree is now a long ways in the future. It’s kind of like letting a dream go. But, as my husband reminded me, as one door shuts, God always opens another. And the new, wide open door leads to a world of possibilities and a job that I am extremely excited about.

I feel strange right now, as I let a part of me go and embrace another. I was heading one direction and now I have to spin on my heel and go the exact opposite. I cried a bit, I won’t lie.

Don’t get me wrong. I love this company. I love what they’re doing and I’m so excited to be a part of it in a bigger way. They see my strengths and they want to train me to use those better. It’s a good thing, I promise. I’m just sort of in shock. Education was always #1 in my family. ALWAYS. Now that takes a back seat. I’ll still be working on a degree or certificate. But slooooowly. And that’s hard for me to take in. I never, ever imagined myself without a university degree. That was always my goal. So as I change head-space and life direction, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I’m nervous and scared out of my mind. But I also cannot wait for the future and what it holds.

a {snowy} monday thought process

I was just sitting here at my desk thinking about the rest of my life.

I am thinking that I don’t really WANT to be a receptionist for the entirety of my working life. That’s why I’m so excited about going to school in the fall. I will finally be working towards my goals …

Hold up. Wait a minute. Goals. I always thought I had a clear career goal in mind. I was going to open a wedding planning business and do what I love {running the show} and living vicariously through the brides I work with {I just want to plan another wedding! There are so many options, so many colours, so many flowers … I couldn’t possibly have tried them all in one shot …}

But then, a couple weeks ago, Jordan says this: “Have you ever thought about doing interior design?”

I paused. Well, yes, of course I have thought about it … never too seriously. It was about the same amount of time I considered being a fashion designer. {Which was a relatively long period of about four years} But now, this idea of making a living designing other people’s homes has arisen in my mind continuously … Now I’m not totally sure of my goal. I need to figure out which one I want to do. I really, really love wedding planning. But I also love interior design. I suppose interior design is an outlet I could have at home … wedding planning, not so much. Unless I have girls and they choose to get married. {But that’s a loooong ways away. They need to exist first, probably.} So maybe I’ll just continue with my wedding planning goal and design, redesign and design again at home … Jordan will like that, right?